


Iridescence

by SessKagShipper2003



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe, Evan Hansen - Freeform, I can't write Jared to save my life, JFC, M/M, Soulmate AU, Tree Bros, connor Murphy - Freeform, dear evan hansen - Freeform, he's probably hella ooc, jared Kleinman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-22 20:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13174659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SessKagShipper2003/pseuds/SessKagShipper2003
Summary: When he went to school that first day, he was determined not to touch anyone. If not for his own sake, then for his poor soulmate's. It would be better, he knew, for this mystery person to never know him in the first place.And then Evan fucking Hansen laughed at him.





	Iridescence

**Author's Note:**

> That soulmate AU where the place you'll touch your soulmate for the first time is black, and when you touch, it turns colorful. In the original AU it was supposed to be rainbow, but I tweaked that a little.
> 
> I wanted to write Jared being a good friend, instead of how he is in A Little Bit of Light. Because he cares about that awkward little dork.
> 
> It's probably a little OOC, but I just needed to write something, and A Little Bit of Light just isn't flowing like it usually does.
> 
> (Also I don't own DEH. Just a reminder.)

During the summer between his Junior and Senior years, Connor found himself staring more and more at the soul marks on his hands. They covered his palms completely, reaching up to cover the pads of his fingers. He didn't want to think about what sort of situation would end with both of his hands on his soulmate.

When he was younger, he'd dreamed of slow dancing in the moonlight, hands on his soulmate's shoulders. Bumping into each other, his hands reaching out to steady them. But he'd grown up, and he knew himself well enough to be sure that his romantic fantasies weren't going to play out.  

When he went to school that first day, he was determined not to touch anyone. If not for his own sake, then for his poor soulmate's. It would be better, he knew, for this mystery person to never know him in the first place. 

But then there was Jared fucking Kleinman, talking the same crap he always did. And maybe Connor's high hadn't worn off as much as he thought, or maybe he was sober, and the words just pissed him off, but he couldn't stop the anger rising up in him. And then Evan fucking Hansen laughed at him. And the words flew out of his mouth, and he was crossing the hall before he knew what he was doing. Then his hands slammed into Evan's shoulders, knocking him to the floor.

For a moment, he felt only white-hot pain in his palms. And then they exploded with color, the dark markings turning shades of green and blue. He was frozen, his eyes trained on Evan. He was still on the ground, his face a mask of shock. As Connor watched, he exploded into motion, his hands flying to his collar. He pulled the collar of polo down, so that both he and Connor could see the edge of a red and orange handprint on his shoulder.

"Shit," Connor whispered, lifting his hands to tug at his hair. Hansen was still frozen, staring up at Connor with wide eyes. Connor took a breath, running his hands through his tangled hair one more time, before he stuck out his hand to help Evan up. Evan took it uncertainly, letting Connor pull him to his feet. 

"Shit," Connor whispered again, because this was  _so much worse than he could have imagined_. He hurt his soulmate. He hurt his soulmate whose fucking arm was broken. 

Connor pulled his hands back, staring at the mess of colors on his palms for a second before he turned and bolted. 

* * *

Evan stayed frozen for nearly ten minutes before Jared came back for him. His mind was racing, and he didn't even notice when the bell rang. Jared had saved him with a hastily forged note right as a teacher found him, then dragged him out to his car.

"Alright, what the fuck, Evan?"

"I-"

He couldn't hold it back anymore. Evan sobbed. 

Jared blinked at him, completely and utterly out of his element. He reached out and awkwardly patted Evan's shoulder as tears continued to stream down his face.

"What the fuck happened, dude?"

Evan pulled the corner of his shirt down in response, showing Jared the handprint. He pieced it together immediately, squeezing Evan's shoulder reassuringly. 

When they were younger, they'd spent an afternoon trying to work out how they would meet their soulmates. Jared's marking was on his right palm- probably a handshake. And Evan's was pretty obviously a shove. Jared knew exactly what happened.

"Who... who was it? I'll-"

"No, don't. It was my fault. I j-" Evan sobbed again, and Jared made up his mind to punch whoever his soulmate was right in the fucking jaw.

"Of c-course he doesn't want to be stuck with me! He hates me, Jared!"

"Who?" Jared asked again, nearly growling. Evan sniffled and tried to calm himself down, but he couldn't stop the tears.

"Connor!"

Jared's mind went blank. Of fucking course. He bit his lip for a moment, before scowling and opening his door. 

"Jared?"

"I'll be back."

* * *

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fu_ -

Connor paced quietly behind the school, wanting desperately to smoke, or hit something, or both. Preferably both. 

_So FUCKING stupid! His fucking arm is broken! You fucking idiot! FUCK!_

"FUCK!" he cried aloud, dropping against the wall of the building with a groan. He pulled his hands out of his pockets, staring in silence. Infinite shades of blues and greens. Even if he never saw the guy again, his hands would be stained for the rest of his life. A shadow crossed in front of him, and he looked up in time for Kleinman to kneel beside him and grab his collar.

"Alright, Murphy, you have five seconds to start explaining."

"Kleinman, what the f-?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jared hissed, and the words stung more than Connor wanted to admit. "How the hell do you sleep at night?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know  _exactly_ what I'm talking about. Your sister saw the whole thing, and she told me what you did."

Of course. Zoe.

"I didn't-" Connor looked away. The fury in Kleinman's gaze was too much. "I wasn't trying to... It just happened, alright?"

Jared growled under his breath. It was a shitty excuse, and Connor knew it. 

"Show me your hands, Murphy."

Connor blinked in surprise, and it was more shock than anything that motivated him to pulled his hands out of his pockets.

"Blues and greens. That's Evan alright."

Jared almost smiled, and then his face hardened again. He grabbed Connor by his wrist and pulled him to his feet, turning and dragging him toward the parking lot.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Connor tried to pull his wrist away, but Kleinman was stronger than he looked. "Let go!"

"You're not going anywhere until you make my best friend stop crying."

"What?" 

Connor dug his feet into the pavement.

"I made him cry?"

"Yes, you did." Jared turned back to look at him, more serious than he'd ever seen him.

"I-"

"This is none of your business, and it's not for me to tell you. But you need to know what you're doing, and fuck knows Evan won't tell you."

Jared gave him the one-minute version. Evan had severe social anxiety and painfully poor self-confidence. He was completely convinced that Connor hated him. And Jared was ninety-nine percent sure that his broken arm hadn't been an accident.  _So be careful with him, Asshole!_

 _Well, that certainly makes me feel better_ , Connor thought.

Then Jared tugged his wrist again, leading him to a beat-up Saturn. (Why was he not surprised that this is what Kleiman drove?) The passenger door was open, and Evan Hansen sat with his legs half out of the car, like he was debating getting up and leaving. Connor was about ready to leave too.

Evan looked up when they walked over, his face turning red as he tried to hurriedly dry his tears on his sleeve. Jared gave Connor one last shove toward Evan, before turning around walking back to class, content that he'd done his job.

"I'm s-sorry about Jared," Evan said quickly, still sniffling. "I didn't think he would... I'm sorry he bugged you."

"I'm sorry for pushing you. It was a dick move."

Evan still wouldn't meet his eyes.

"No, it's okay. I-" The few times Connor had heard Evan talk, he had stuttered, and his words had come out a million miles per hour. But now he just sounded tired. "I'm sorry you ended up stuck with me." His voice broke at the end, and something inside of Connor broke along with it.

"I'm not _stuck_ with anyone," Connor said sharply. Then, calmer, "I'm not here because I'm  _stuck_ with you."

Evan finally looked up. "But I'm- You said-" He looked like he was about to cry again, and Connor's stomach twisted. Jesus, what had he gotten himself into? 

"I know what I said, and I was wrong. You're not a freak. I was mad at Kleinman, and I took it out on you, and that wasn't fair of me. I'm sorry."

Evan blinked up at him, the beginnings of a smile crossing his face.

"Why... Why did you run?"

It was Connor's turn to look at his shoes. "I, uh..." He frowned, trying to find the right words to get his point across. "Haven't you heard about me?"

"I mean, a little. The printer thing. Not much else."

_Of course he'd heard about the fucking printer._

"You haven't heard about the drugs? The fighting? My grades? I know Zoe's been spreading rumors about my grades."

Evan's face was blissfully blank. "No. Haven't heard any of it."

That was a relief, he guessed. At least Evan could hear it from him. 

"Well, it's all true. All of it. I smoke, and I get in fights, and I'm the fucking stupidest person on this planet, and threw a fucking printer at my teacher in second grade. And I ran because I don't want you to be stuck with me. I'm... I'm not good enough."

Evan laughed, disbelieving, only for a second, before he covered his mouth with his hands, looking up guiltily.

"Sorry. Sorry, I'm not laughing at you, I promise."

Connor felt slightly offended, but he chose to believe him.

"What's so funny then?"

"I was just so fucking worried. For absolutely no reason." 

So Evan Hansen could swear after all.

"Do you want to skip?" Connor asked suddenly. "Go somewhere and talk? Get to know each other?"

Evan thought for a second. "Yeah. As long as I'm back by the end of sixth period. Jared's giving me a ride home."

Connor smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.


End file.
